I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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