So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
