now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
