It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
