If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize