I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
