Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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