I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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