That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
