It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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