hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
