Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize