dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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