I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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