Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
