lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
