she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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