This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
