Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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