You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize