Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
