Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
