I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
