where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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