i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
