He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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