so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
