Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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