did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize