Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
