Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
