Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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