she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
