She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
