Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
