How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
