honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
