does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
