FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize