You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
