i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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