Dual....:-)
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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