The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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