i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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