your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize