i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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