hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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