So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
