What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
