Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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