He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
