It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
how drunk are you?
Several
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
