we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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