His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
