im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
