My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
