he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize