drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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