i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
