So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
