u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
